you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
