after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
