why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
