I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
