I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Randomize
