she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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