dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
