Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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