Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
