last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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