Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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