shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
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