I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
