There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
