"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
