last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I forgot how hot balto sounded
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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