And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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