It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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