I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
