This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
