I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
