Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
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I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
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Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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