You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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