I'm going to jail i love you
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
