So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
