matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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