And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
