Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
