Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
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Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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