You work out of a Hotel?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
