i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
