you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
