There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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