i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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