So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
