RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
