I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
