Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
