yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We need to get me chipped asap
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize