3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
