I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
