Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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