Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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