All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize