yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
