You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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