guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize