what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
