omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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