Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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