I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
