WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
