i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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