I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
The Olympian is in my bed
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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