She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
