The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
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Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
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It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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