is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
