I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
