nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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