Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
