3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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