We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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