since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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